Sunday, April 30, 2006
Best In Show
I love cats. If Michael left me tomorrow, I would mourn his departure and fill that void with twenty other cats. I would be that crazy cat lady.

A cat is the only animal (in my humble opinion) that can lay about, disinterested in anything but sleeping, and still remain absolutely adorable. I've had five cats in my life, and about half of these cats came into the household, sat down on some peice of nice furniture, and slept away their existences. The other half of those cats spent their lifetimes gouging small animals in backyards and draping themselves over expensive peices of clothing. I realize my data would indicate that one of these cats would be exactly half of each purrsonality. Yes, it's true. I just typed out 'P-U-R-R-S-O-N-A-L-I-T-Y".

The cat that is exactly half-bum, half-crazy is Delilah Amelia, and like Christ, she is a morph of both traits to the fullest. That is to say: she is 100% crazy and 100% worthless.

For example, right this moment, she is plastered to a screen of an open window, muttering at some chipmunks at play. Soon, she will tire of this and go directly to her six-foot-tall cat-tree, constructed by Michael. This particular toy has been reconstructed several times, as her claws and her insanity have caused extreme strain and damage. Yet, she loves this tree, and will perch for hours there, literally rubbing herself all over the carpeted beams, indicating a strange sexual perversion unheard of in a spayed female cat.

She is a little trollop, this cat, and is also incredibly gluttonous. Yet, like those girls of reality television, Delilah will gorge herself into oblivion and not gain any weight. She is slinky, black, and I daresay, sexy. Yes. She is a sexy cat--when she isn't being deceptively stupid.

But I digress. Today, I merely wanted to highlight some of Blogger's finest feline friends.

Please meet D. Sergei, a robust neutered male currently owned (but certainly NOT operated by Madge of The Duck Motif).

D. Sergei lists his hobbies as paper-bagging it, snoozing in excessive amounts of Florida sun, and tormenting the camera with his beguiling good looks.

This fetching young lass goes by the provacative if appetite-inspiring name of Yammie. She is highlighted and spot-featured over at Kimberlina's Gimchi. I am still trying to find out if gimchi is a kind of food, or light-hearted ambivalence towards life. As we see from Yams, she could also double as a lovely cat ala orange in a restuarant, or a saucy dish served up at the hottest of gentlemen's clubs. Let's give Yammie a round of applause.

And, lastly, I'll re-introduce Delilah Amelia of some infamous notoriety. Yes, she's spunky and frightening around eleven p.m., but as we can observe from this delightfully impromptu photo, she remains queenly and distant even in the most compromising of situations (such as being caught in the dryer on top of a load of freshly laundered clothing). Ah, the mystique, the glamour! The cats!

Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

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    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

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