This is The Vortex, an amusing restaurant in the heart of Atlanta's degenerate neighborhood, Little Five Points.

I just learned via the website that The Vortex sold their image to Rockstar Games, in order for the restaurant to appear in one of the filth-laden 'Grand Theft Auto' video nightmares. That's so way-cool.

Anyway, Michael and I rode down for Bike Night last night. The entire parking lot gets filled to the brim with bikes of all makes and sizes. We saw three scooters, nine billion crotch rockets, twenty Harley's, one Harley-Bobber, and a good mix in of sport touring bikes. Of course, our bikes were singular amongst the masses. Because we ride naked.

So, we ate our overpriced hamburgers (which were delish, although way too expensive) and looked at bikes.

Now, I should tell you, this was quite the trip. We live about forty miles from Little Five Points, so getting there was interesting. This was the first time I actually took my motorcycle through downtown Atlanta. I saw five or six prostitutes, but nothing else of great interest. I also managed to avoid getting killed by the inane number of Hummers swarming the narrow downtown streets. So, to do all this--to get to bike night at the Vortex, I was ready for a big pay-off.

You know what? Whatever you hear about bikers...it's NOT TRUE. I was hoping for fights, brawls, drunken women ripping off clothes, SOMEthing of ill repute. No. Bikers are all rather well-behaved. Michael and I stood in the parking lot for an hour, looking at other bikes and looking at each other. All the other bikers were doing the same.

We did not have a beer. We did not get to see a fight. We left at nine pm, so we could be in bed by ten thirty. We rode through the barren streets of Atlanta at a safe speed. We did not pop any wheelies, nor did we see any being popped. We had one of the tamest, lamest nights out in the Big City.

It's too bad I didn't bring my camera for evidence: Bikers are pretty much lame. But that's okay--for once, I fit in.