There's nasty. There's raunchy. There's down-right dirty and disgusting.

There's bestiality. There's sex with food, like cucumbers and gourds and bananas.

There's an entire library of strange sexual disciplines out there, and I can appreciate the breadth and width of human libido.

Now, I do not stand on a pedestal of virtuosity. I condemn not one among us who may occasionally submerge himself in the gooey extracurricular activities of genitalia. I find that I myself can entertain fantasies involving midgets, trapeze artists, and a whole slew of other sundry circus characters. I have a fetish for elephants, it's true.

But the entire thought of gingerbread men has been ruined for me, eternally.
I don't think ginger ale will ever make a place in my diet.
To be safe, I think I'll start avoiding Fig Newtons.

Because I have found this link--about figging.

Need I say more? Thank you for suffering through this post of sexual indecency.