Lions don't DRINK tea. What are they trying to do--make lions out to be intellectuals?
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Don't answer the doorbell with Eucerin cream spread all over your lips and your boyfriend calling your name from the bedroom.
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Why are there Braille pads on drive-up ATMS?
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The next time I have a dream about Spinning Girl being a Russian Spy, I'm quitting the blog.
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Equally as strange, the next time I dream about giving birth to a baby with an afro and an attitude, I will stop watching My Name Is Earl.
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When departing the escalator, please move to the side to discuss shopping plans. Otherwise, I WILL trip at the top.
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To the girl in college who went through my underwear drawer and took pictures: why?
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Every time I change the catbox, no matter what, the cat will scamper in half-way through the task and let one loose. While I'm standing there.
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One name is good. Why did Duran Duran feel the need to repeat themselves?
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Where are the Alicia Silverstone's of yesteryear?
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When I feel mentally stable and happy, does that really mean I need to go back to therapy?
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Man, the X-Files totally blow without David Duchovny.
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I never have to date a loser again.
