Firstly, I would like to say the word apophthegm (ap·o·thegm also ap·o·phthegm). It is a smart-sounding word. It seems grammatically superior to the term 'saying' but not as confusing as 'colloquilism'. With that out of the way, I am pleased to present my dear boyfriend's famous apophthegms:
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me
than a frontal labotomy.
Here I sit brokenhearted
Tried to shit and only farted.
He's brilliant-a real Fart Smeller.
Well, I'm drilling him for more, but we can't remember any others. Have fun with these; I'll update them as I continue to collect them.
*And for a quick reference of things yelled in my car*:
"Assclown!"
"Asshat!"
"Rat Bastard!"
"Butt Leak!"
"VAGINA HEAD!"
"Damn Michiganders" (Sorry, Michael)
"Soccer Ball Sucker!"
"Fetal Raper!"
"Father Raper!" (Thanks, Arlo Guthrie).
"Chester Child Molester!"
"Fuckwad"
"Fuckhead"
I'm starting to think I'm not too pleasant of a driver.
Name: Fritz
Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten
Click here to find out
even more!
The Worm Whisperer
Miss Yarnhead
Inane Anna
Teach me, Arachnae
A Woman for All Seasons
Stuntmother
Somewhere in Middle America
Knitty Kitty
Kimberlina Ballerina
Super Uber MILF
Death Wore A Feathered Mullet
Miss Kendra's Golden State
Boobs McGillicutty
Corley's Blue Texas
Sysm's Systemic Statements
Nick's Sac
Jiggs Casey
Jamwall
A Dude and His Dogs in Detroit
Miss Yarnhead
Inane Anna
Teach me, Arachnae
A Woman for All Seasons
Stuntmother
Somewhere in Middle America
Knitty Kitty
Kimberlina Ballerina
Super Uber MILF
Death Wore A Feathered Mullet
Miss Kendra's Golden State
Boobs McGillicutty
Corley's Blue Texas
Sysm's Systemic Statements
Nick's Sac
Jiggs Casey
Jamwall
A Dude and His Dogs in Detroit
I'm A Bitch, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child...I've Got B...
Other Concerns
I'm Close to Quitting...
Are You There, God? It's Me, Fritz
Vindication Or Vilification?
.................Randomitivity....
Meditation
Sell Out
High School
What it all Boils Down To
Other Concerns
I'm Close to Quitting...
Are You There, God? It's Me, Fritz
Vindication Or Vilification?
.................Randomitivity....
Meditation
Sell Out
High School
What it all Boils Down To
What My Brain is Eating
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What I Live By:
We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, alwaysâ A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"
We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, alwaysâ A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"
