1. If one morning, I woke up and discovered I was Miss Kendra, I would be deliriously happy.

2. If one morning, I awoke to a size 8 body, I would run around the neighborhood naked. And people would be happy that I did.

3. Well, maybe not this neighborhood. People are weird in my new-soon-to-be-old neighborhood. The people across the street don't talk--they only grunt. And their front door is off-center by three feet. It irritates me to look at it.

4. Here's a reason to love Michael: he looks after my dear, single friend Liz. Her car is on the Fritz. So Michael checked it out. Michael isn't a car wizard, but still. He looked at it. He's a prince among men.

5. I will not miss cockroaches when I move to Michigan.

6. When one puts in her two-week notice at work, does anyone really expect her to WORK?

7. I've come to a sad realization: I'm lazy. There are dishes in the sink from five nights ago. And the dishwasher is nearly empty from the last cleaning, because I keep going in there for dishes. Which wind up in the sink. The good news is: I've almost completely eliminated the need for cabinets.

8. No matter what, there is never enough money.

9. I have a yarn stash that would make many women swoon in envy. I may not have a great body, and I may have a neck waddle, but dammit, I have a stash.

10. God has cursed me. Drinking coffee nowadays leads to an immediate sensation of fire in my belly. Yet, I persist.

11. If I never left the house, I could die happy. What does this say about me? I think it says I don't really like other people. Or maybe, I don't like myself right now. Hmmm. That's depressing.

12. I may or may not have an addiction to internet Scrabble.

13. I worry that Delilah is going to kill herself running into a wall during one of her fits.

14. Michael is the male version of my best friend, Katie. This concerns me and Katie, but not Michael.

15. Do parents get the heebie-jeebies about their kids having sex the same way kids get the heebie-jeebies about parents having sex?

16. I wonder how hard it will be to find work in Michigan. On one hand, I want a similar job to what I do now. On the other hand, social work is hard. I wouldn't mind being a secretary. It would give me an excuse to wear some of my fabulous shoes. And each month, I could budget towards a pair of these.

17. The world is a beautiful place from my little window. I hope we don't kill it off anytime soon. Of course, if I actually left the house from time to time, I might think differently about it.

18. My parents are spectacular people. My dad teaches English as a Second Language, and my mom is in a national guild for silk painters. But that's not why they are spectacular. They are spectacular because they simply are.

19. Someone told me this morning that I changed the fate of his son's well-being and life for the good. If only I had that power. I would wrap the world in it, and spin it away from me in a great orb of light. And each person born with a 'disability' would become a teacher to the rest of us. How much we could learn.

20. Sometimes, on the motorcycle, I zone into the whoosh of wind in my helmet, and feel almost weightless. I think I could die happy, knowing that I've experienced the quieting wonder of the universe from my yellow bike.