Saturday, January 06, 2007
There is A Time (turn turn turn)... get absolutely shit-faced drunk.

Today is that time.

If one more damn thing happens in this household, I'm going to have a facking nervous breakdown, no qualms about it. Michael is aware of this, and has unearthed the straight jacket from its deepest hiding place (yet another poorly packed box left from the move to the house). If the cat runs out the door in another fit of schizophrenic mania, I will honestly shoot her (with what weapon I cannot say). If one more car is bought, sold, borrowed, or broken, I will slash every tire of every vehicle within twenty feet of me in a Beatrix Kiddo rage. If I am warned about Michigan's winters being horribly cold on one more occasion, I shall rip every single decent hair from my head and drag myself (starving hysterical naked) through the Atlanta streets at dawn, looking for an angry wig.

And if, IF, one more old bald guy tells me I know nothing of the American auto industry, and don't understand the importance of supporting the bloated, fattened automakers of overpriced steel, and am too naive and young to grasp the importance of a global economy, and that I cannot put the price of the environment over the price of American economic success, I shall PLACE MY THUMBS UPON HIS EYES AND SQUEEZE SO HARD HIS BRAINS POP OUT.

I'm so glad a woman is now Speaker of the House. I am so happy that one day, all these old, bloated, red-nosed, rosacea-ridden, old money, baby-boomer, christian whackjob fundamentalists will one day cease their relentless babble and allow those of us (young, naive, hopeful and idealistic) women to start taking care and taking charge of all that is wrong in this world. Maybe we'll even make some babies.

I nominate Tits McGee for president. Spinning Girl for vice. And myself? Defense secretary. Old guys? You're on Notice.
Written by FRITZ
| Link | 6 wise cracks! |

Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

    I Heart Tits


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