Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Following Suit
I think I need an official respite from things.

Good things are happening all the time, it seems. Getting married is really the greatest thing I've ever done, and I am learning to be a good wife. No, not the kind of wife who serves up hot food as soon as my husband comes home, but the kind of wife who is constantly thinking of ways to make life better for my husband. I'm not sure I'm succeeding in leaps and bounds, but I do know that this new life of service is suited for me, or I am suited to it, or something.

In the middle of all this growth, we have finally purchased a home and will be closing in just a few days. I am considering graduate school, and am also in line for a promotion. I'm also trying to finish knitting about three projects I've got on my pointy sticks. I'm busy.

And while I signed up for NaNoWriMo with the greatest of intentions, I cannot seem to find the time or the inclination to truly craft a story and give it the attention it deserves. I feel like a quitter, a loser, an approximation of a bum. Shouldn't true writers find time and opportunity to create? Maybe I'm not really all that much of a writer.

There is a dearth of interesting writing in blogland, and while I feel most of my blogging constituents have much to say, I cannot help but think the end is drawing near. How much could someone really be interested in these meagre thoughts of mine--this simple life with these simple metaphors? While I am thrilled with where my days are going, and how the momentum of life is augmenting my own development, I cannot devote much time to finding the profundity of it all. I'm almost at the point of recording my days in a diary fashion.

My Typical Day:

Got up. Made bed.

Made coffee.

Checked email.

Made phone calls.

Went out on visits.

Hunted down addresses.

Came home.

Did laundry.

Studied for the GRE

Paid bills

Had dinner.

Watched 'Heroes'

Knit scarf

Worried about new house

Worried about money

Took antacid

Did crossword puzzle

Read book

Fell asleep reading book

You see my point? It's not all that interesting. And I'm so tired at the end of the day that even the interesting bits are more trivial than note-worthy.

Sorry, NaNoWriMo. I haven't tossed in the towel, yet, but I'm well on my way to surrender.
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    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

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