I am a confirmed hypochondriac. I currently suffer from dementia, cancer, footrot, and restless leg syndrome. The doctors won't actually give me these diagnoses, but dammit, I have Internet. WebMD told me so.
One night, I was watching TLC (again). An ad popped up about flesh-eating bacteria. Thanks to my handy laptop, I was able to Google it. Then, I Googled images. I saw some legs with enormous gashes in them and an arm with an ulcer. I was instantly intrigued, and began picking at that spot on my thigh where the skin is red and flaky (it's razorburn, people, I don't REALLY have leprosy). As I scrolled through images of rotting flesh, I came across this little guy...
He's got a KNIFE and a FORK because he EATS FLESH! How adorable!!
I was cooing at the website. Go and coo. I never knew how huggable syphillis really was! No wonder people contract it all the time! Sure, influenza killed off millions of people in the early 1900's, but can we blame it when it's as fuzzy as this?
I've been cured of my hypochodria. If having all these diseases means I'm surrounded by sweet little microbes with eyeballs, I feel just fine.
