As I go through this process of wedding planning and sheet purchasing, one thing has become quite clear to me--crystal clear.

I am becoming my mother. In many, many senses.

Recently, I've been cleaning frantically. I go through these spots where I'm constantly wiping and getting thrilled by purchasing antibacterial Clorox clothes. I sit for DAYS wondering what vase should sit on top of that dresser, and have purchased two pewter vases on ebay, only to reject their candidacy for that dresser. I vacuum weekly and flinch when the cat shakes one kitty-litter dusted paw anywhere near the carpet. Then, I awake and realize how much this reminds me of the constant cleaning of my mother (Momma, I love you. You clean obsessively). So, I slack for a few weeks and find myself feeling guilty for NOT wiping incessesantly.

I won't buy anything with a money order. It's not that money orders are beneath me...they're just...beneath me. I won't shop at any 'bargain' centered store. TJ Maxx? Out. Marshall's? Forget it. Big Lots? Over my dead and bloated body. I won't shop from bins, crates, or a store filled with merchandise stickered with orange pricetags. I don't even enjoy looking at clearance racks at mainstream stores. If I have to repair a new item, I'm finished. I'm a snot--it's true.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like to save money and as one friend says, "Stick it to the man!" I realize that NOT purchasing full-priced, namebrand items is a way of shunting capitalism and all the evil it stands for. However, I don't think ANYONE should have to shop in tight corners and messy racks of clothes and non-breathable material and poorly constructed clothing. I don't think ANYONE wants to feel like a scavenger hunting for a left over bone that some rich broad decided wasn't good enough to showcase in some snazzy fashion store. Really, I realize what a bitch I sound like. And I also know that some people THRIVE on finding that ridiculous sale price and feeling like a huntress on the prowl. Good for you!

Just don't give ME grief about it. I say that with a smile, because Michael and Spinster have resorted to call me 'Anne'--my mom's name. And you know, there IS a bit of a snob living in my Mom. But there's some other important things I learned from Anne.

I learned that living in beautiful, clean spaces is gratifying and fulfilling.
I learned how decorating and arranging is cathartic, and an expression of artistic creativity.
I learned that saving some money and truly enjoying the purchase of one or two beautiful items is much more gratifying than buying sacks of sale items.
I learned that going to nice stores with quality items is a good way to center myself towards goals I want to achieve. Sure, there are lots of things I can't afford NOW, but maybe in two years, I can afford a two thousand dollar suit. I'll wear it with pride.
And most of all, I learned that everyone deserves a little bit of luxury.

So, Mom, the next time I realize I'm turning into you, I'll smile, and be grateful that we're carrying a legacy. It's a legacy of gracious living, a little bit of snobbery, and a taste for the finer things.

Michael: Do you see what you're getting into now?
Spinster: Shut it. I can HEAR you mocking me.