Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Mission: Fritzcapade
Folks, for all of you who know me as a critic of George W. Bush, President and Commander-in-Cheif, please take notice:

I am now the President's number one fan.

It appears that I, a silly Probation Officer in charge of roughly five hundred convicted felons, may be dispatched to the Sinking Stinking City known as New Orleans.

While I dread this event, because New Orleans stinks like vomit, urine, and dead people, I am charged with hope due to our brave leader, Prezzy Bushy.
See, it appears he has decided to cut his vacation three days short.

Three whole days.

Don't panic, friends, please. Yes, we are at war with the entire world (pretty much). Yes, oil costs a small fortune and only the folks who drive Hummers can afford it. Yes, the South is getting barraged by storms and flooding (even worse: Alabamians and Mississipians have been displaced and are coming to Georgia for relief). Yes, dead bodies are floating throughout the streets of Louisiana while living humans hail relief from rooftops.

But the President took Air Force One over the city of New Orleans to assess the damage. After he cut his vacation three days short.

So, as I got in my car today and headed to the gas station, I praised Georgie for his charity. And as I waited for forty minutes to get to the pump, I thanked him. And when I spent thirty dollars to fill up my ten gallon tank car, I blessed him. Over and over and over.

When I am called to duty to pick up dead bodies in New Orleans because F.E.M.A. doesn't have enough resources to assist Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi, and Alabama, I will think fondly on Georgie Porgie. If I get dysentery or the plague while wading through gallons of stagnant, foul water, I'll sing to George.

God Bless George Bush. Let's all take a moment to thank him for such a noble sacrifice. Three days off from his scheduled vacation.

"No one can say they didn't see it coming"
In 2001, FEMA warned that a hurricane striking New Orleans was one of the three most likely disasters in the U.S. But the Bush administration cut New Orleans flood control funding by 44 percent to pay for the Iraq war.

Thank You, President Bush!
Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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