Thursday, February 08, 2007
So I Heard the Bears Won!
I was so thrilled to hear my favorite home team won the super bowl! Thank goodness for that, because I couldn't watch any of it since I was unloading a truck on the coldest day EVER in Michigan.

Man, it's flippin' cold up here.

Here's a fun idea: try taking 1100 square feet of crap and stuffing it into a 875 square foot house. If that's not your idea of a good Saturday night, then try shopping at a grocery store where you are required to wear 'Uggs' and carry a platinum AmEx card to the meat counter before purchasing your 'Maverick' beef. What the hell? I've entered Yuppie hell.

That being said, I love Royal Oak. While I'm desperately missing my knit group and my friends in Atlanta, I'm totally digging this place. Here's a new concept: talking to strangers! People do that in this town, even when it's thirty below zero. In fact, my new neighbors brought over a tin of cookies as a welcome gift. Who does that? People in Royal Oak, Michigan, that's who.

My house is actually the most adorable thing since Barbie said "Math is hard!" Unfortunately, the sink in the bathroom broke today and there's these unsightly cracks in about half of the windows, and I'm pretty sure our cars have been cased out by neighborhood vandals, but other than that, it's really just precious. Really. Michael has been able to erect his entire MAN THEATER in the tiny living room and was kind enough to leave me one cubic foot for my silk flower arrangement. That's love, people.

The bike, however, refuses to start. The scariest moments of my life? When Michael rode the bike into the Budget rental truck, and when he rode the bike out of the truck. Of course it was scary for me, people. We're talking about my love, my passion, my absolute everything. And my husband was riding it, too.

Hey! I'm gonna start cooking pretty soon, here. After all, I went to the 'market' (we're so swanky we go to market now instead of the grocery store). The market is overridden by hippie love-children who all have these enormously disgusting looking dreadlocks, except the butcher (thank God). The butcher looks like he is in some kind of hell working with these pot-ridden socialists, but it's a job, and he's glad to talk to other normal, bitter individuals like myself. This camaraderie ended shortly after I asked for a pound of turkey burger and admitted half of it was for my cat. I'm sorry. I'm a snob and so is my damned cat.

However, at market (well, now I'm just English, apparently), there is also this scrawny sixteen year old bagger guy who enjoys yelling at morons (like me) who can't figure out how to exit the building, because hippie markets with expensive meat cuts make sure overweight, insecure middle-class women who still wear real leather shoes are put in their perspective places. And how do they do this? Firstly, by placing the exit door in the exact place where an eye will not travel. Secondly, by having this really strict path of how to get around the grocery store. And thirdly, by yelling loudly at the woman going against the flow of traffic: "Hey, ma'am! The exit is THE OTHER WAY!"

Thanks a lot, you underfed vegan. Go to hell.

Anyway, pictures will follow. Thanks, all, for coming around and saying hello. And a special thanks to Sysm for a certain gift that has made life most easy, especially at a certain mom and pop general store.
Written by FRITZ
| Link | 9 wise cracks! |

Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

Click here to find out
even more!

What My Brain is Eating
  • eatpraylove
    This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from Nukes524. Make your own badge here.

    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

    I Heart Tits


    Blogarama - The Blogs Directory