My mother occasionally asks when I will go back to church. We’re Episcopalians, so it’s not my soul she’s concerned about. Episcopalians are tepid Christians with a great deal of tolerance for all people and faiths. I think my mother is more concerned about me joining a community of people who think like me. This is kind of my mother; she means well.

I’m not going back to church anytime soon. I don’t want to consciously be a hypocrite. I commit hypocrisy enough without blatantly shoving my fist in God’s face.

In his book, Following Christ in a Consumer Society, John F. Kavanaugh writes: “It is the Christian, the church-going believer, who must face the words of Christ and then try to continue in conscience ignoring the poor, the dispossessed, the hungry, the imprisoned, and the homeless.”

I know a young lady who hears the voice of God. Several weeks ago, God commanded her to go to Israel, and God provided the means for her to get there. This young lady and her husband, along with their ‘Home Church’ pastor, went to Israel to pray with the Jews, to give items to the soldiers, and to testify about God’s love. The young lady showed me videos, and while I was struck with her earnestness, I was shocked to view the video of her pastor and followers praying in a field above an Israeli military camp. The sound of katyushas exploding could be heard. The pastor raised his hand in holy supplication and prayed aloud, “God, send these rockets where they need to go.”

I do not presume he meant for God to send rockets out into open water, where the explosions would spare human life. I can only presume he meant for the rockets to hit the bodies of the enemies of Israel, and hurt them. I can only presume he was praying for the death of Hezbollah members.

I was angered and shocked by this prayer, but kept my mouth shut. Now, I wish I hadn’t. I have been thinking too much, and after watching a video of the Rev. Emmanuel Charles McCarthy, I am solidified in my thinking: Christians have got it ALL wrong. We stand and yell about ‘jihad’ and the terrors of extremist Muslims, but we have failed to see our own terrorism. We are using Jesus as an excuse to wage war, and this is a slap across the face of God. We’re breaking the first commandment, and we’re doing it with the blessings of our church leaders.

Every Sunday, millions of American Christians go to church and get a message from a pulpit. After the sermon and a couple of hymns, Christians deposit millions of dollars into the tankards of the churches. They go home in luxury vehicles, or stop at overpriced restaurants to order food high in fat and calories. They bypass the ‘bad’ parts of town for their own tree-lined suburbs. They never encounter the poor, the dispossessed, the homeless, the imprisoned. American Christians have no need to see the faces of injustice; after all, that’s what tithing is about. But I ask these Christians: when have you seen your church fund a drug treatment program, or feed the hungry, or house the homeless, or shelter the abused? When was the last time you, dear conservative Christian, wandered next door to your neighbor’s home and broke bread with them, regardless of their economic background or ethnic culture? When did you look a starving child in the eyes and contribute to her well-being?

Every nine seconds, someone dies of starvation. And while the deaths of 09-11-01 are tremendous, the devastating effects of starvation far outweigh the number of casualties of that monumental day.

Before the War on Terror, Americans could not find any room in their pockets for better education. To this day, we ignore the needs of our children. Yet, we manage to find 200 billion dollars in the budget for a war on a land that posed no imminent threat to us. Yet, we find monies to destroy and kill innocent civilians. Yet, we find excuses for the thousands of dead American soldiers. While we persist in defending our ‘righteous’ war, the blood of millions of people are running all together, and the color of the blood is the same, and the effect on our nation is the same, and the death toll signifies only one thing: Americans value War over Jesus.

Christian churches tell us about Jesus’ words, and then order us to support the idea of Holy War. But there are many of us that believe this to be the ultimate offense to God. For walking the path of Jesus is about sacrifice, charity and love. It is not about gas prices, vengeance, and profit. But the Conservative Christian is convinced that Jesus would condone violence as a Biblical measure—a tool for preservation.

A sign in Atlanta read “JesUSAves”. This is idolatry. This is the worst culmination of our greed, our egotistical philosophy, our consumerist violence. To think that Jesus defends the national interest of America is disgusting. I don’t hear the voice of God like many Conservative Christians do, but I feel certain God doesn’t like this kind of sign. And the worst of these Christians quote the Bible to defend their works. They find passages in the Old Testament and the New Testament to justify their wealth and misdeeds against others. Yet, I rarely hear the words of Jesus. I rarely hear the Good News.

Consider these passages:
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..” Matthew 5:44.
“Indeed, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.” Luke 13:30.
And most descriptive of Jesus’ teachings:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”(Matthew 5:3-10).

These are not the words of a vengeful, blood-thirsting Christ. These are the words of a communist, a pacifist, and a humanist. And we ignore these teachings in order to bend the will of God to the will of greed.

And so, Mom, I will not return to church. While the Episcopalian church doesn’t condone the War on Terror, it is not making a forthright stand against it. Therefore, it has failed its people and Jesus. By not making a stand, the Episcopal church has joined the ranks of secular Christians who deny the truth about Jesus— he is against any and all violence. He didn’t drive a Hummer, he didn’t care about money, and he wouldn’t support this war or this government. Jesus’ teachings transcend wealth, greed, and violence. I don’t want the label of ‘Christian’, because Christianity is now synonymous with economic injustice, murder, and a sense of empirical inheritance of the world.

I am an angry woman. I only hope God will remind me of forgiveness. I only hope I can see God’s face amongst the victims of ‘holy’ wars. I can only pray that the ‘Christians’ of America realize that Jesus is being misused for the purpose of profit and gain, and we have unwittingly made him the mascot of violence.