Thursday, June 15, 2006
We Don't Believe
There are people out there who are frighteningly convincing when it comes to the denial of certain historical events.

Many people reject the idea of the Holocaust, saying it was all a big ploy. I'm sure Mel Gibson is behind this, though I don't have any proof. In this day and age, however, we don't need 'proof'. We just need to believe it so, and there you have it. Therefore, Mel Gibson is behind everything insidious and evil. Including the failure of box office sales for M. Night Shyamalan's movies.

In any case, most of us sneer at idiots who shun the empirical and historical evidence regarding the Holocaust. We also steer clear of people who say things like, "Yeah, but what about all the GOOD things Hitler did?" and "The KKK was just brotherhood of sorts--kinda like the Moose Lodges". These people are scary. Please don't confuse the Fritz household with these people.

What I am about to suggest is solely due to Michael's influence. Don't stone me.

Michael has led me to understand that we never walked on the moon.
It's a lie.
A farce.
A cleverly crafted hoax that has gone too far.

Look: when we were 'told' that someone had walked around on the moon, we were engaged in the space race. We needed something to put the Russians in their places. We had to show that America was tops. But think about the short snippets of video feed we've seen of the moon footage. Doesn't it look rather--claymation like? Mind you, this is the time when those freaky Christmas shows were coming out by the dozen, with stiff reindeer and freaky little elves, all jerking around in clay. Be honest--it resembles the videos of the moonwalk.

Recently, NASA discovered that it can't build a satellite to spec. We dump billions of dollars in this space program thing, and they put switches in backwards. Uh huh. Sure, we got to the moon.

Our cell phones drop signals all the time.
We can't figure out the common cold.
Planes still crash.
We really don't KNOW when hurricanes are going to hit us until a day or so before the occurrence.
The weatherpeople always screw us up.
We haven't walked on the moon since the initial 'landing'.

I'm just sayin'--Michael has totally made me see. No one ever walked on the moon. It's a big fat lie.

Sorry, Moulder. We just don't believe.

In other news, I got the head cold from which Michael is suffering. I need a hot toddy.
Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

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