Tits McGee tagged me! I've done this particular meme before, so I changed some answers. You know, to spark the interest of the N.S.A.


1. First name? Gwendolyn (no, it's not, but my first name is so dull, I thought I'd use something else. Elizabeth is the right answer)
2. Were you named after anyone? No.
3. Do you wish on stars? No
4. When did you last cry? Sunday. Michael was gonna go to Kentucky. He left, and then an hour later, he came back. Because he didn't want to leave me.
Yeah. Sick, ain't it?
5. Do you like your handwriting? If I didn't, what could I do about it?
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Sliced children, with a hint of mesquite
7. When is your birthday? MAY 24th. That's right. It's coming up. Start shopping!
8. What is your most embarrassing cd? J-Lo
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? As long as I stayed on Zoloft, I would be friends with me. I don't like this question.
10. Do you have a journal? I keep a list of all the sins I've commited and then try to make up for them. Oh, wait. That's a TV Show
12. Would you bungee jump? No.
13. What is your favorite cereal? Does sliced children count?
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? My mother does this. Therefore, I cannot.
15. Do you think that you are strong? Strong enough to open the fridge door
16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Cold Stone Creamery. The whole store.
17. Shoe Size? My feet were bound as a child; I think I'm a size two
18. Red or pink? Pink.
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? Eating sliced children. It makes me feel guilty.
20. Who do you miss the most? Father Schultenover, my theology professor
21. Do you want everyone you send this to to send it back? No one has to do anything on account of me (read Catholic guilt: everyone must send this back to me or else I will eat more sliced children)
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Gray comfy pants, bear feet. My size two feet come with claws and fur and pads and everything.
23. Last thing you ate? Like you need to ask! I had filet of child on an English muffin, drizzled with Hollandaise sauce.
24. What are you listening to right now? A screaming child in my closet
25. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Lung cancer yellow
26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? A hospital administrator, about a client. 28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? His gravitas.
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Incredibly. She baked me a pie.
30. Favorite Drink? Coffee
31. Favorite Sport? Sliced Child Derby
32. Hair Color? Ding-bat blonde. There aren't many of us natural idiots left.
34. Do you wear contacts? No contacts, no glasses. Does squinting count?
35. Favorite Food? Sliced Child Souffle
36. Last Movie You Watched? Good Night and Good Luck (but I fell asleep, so I don't know if it counts).
37. Favorite Day Of The Year? MAY 24th. It's my birthday. Send me money.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Scary movies.
39. Summer or winter? Winter.
40. Hugs or Kisses? Depends. Where are you going to kiss me?
41. Favorite dessert? (sigh)--sliced child fingers, with a pastry wrap and a dollop of whipped cream.
42. What's On Your Mouse Pad? A mouse, stuck in a trap. He's chewing his leg off.
43. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? The last part of The Office, where Jim gave Pam an outstanding kiss.
44. Favorite Smells? Sliced children cooking. And coffee.
45. Favorite Sounds? That kid currently screaming in the closet.
46. Stones or Beatles? No, thank you. I have to drive.
47. What's the furthest you've been from home? England.
48. What books are you reading? Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment.