...if you are not funny or political or obtuse or absurd or (FOR GOD'S SAKE) you are not intellectual.
...if you are stuck up for no reason (ie: not a princess, blessed by Gandhi, not intellectual, have a tail...you know...)
...if you actually think that drivel such as "OMG I had the best sushi ever! and it was only like, forty calories!" is actually entertaining.
...if you blog instead of keeping a diary about mundane shit. Try to find something interesting to say ABOUT the mundane shit.
...you really care about the Oscars.
...you think Paris Hilton is somebody worthwhile.

This has been a public service announcement. Vapid women, please excuse yourselves to picture blogs where you will hear wild acclamations about how 'hot' you are. Once you speak, you drive the rest of us to the brink of insanity.