Saturday, March 04, 2006
Holy. Wow.
You know those times when you learn something about yourself and you're floored?
I was on my last, sad bra. The underwire had come out of one cup, but I've been too lazy and embarrassed to go buy another one. I've been wearing the damn thing for three months, now, with only one cup 'up' and the other one...not up. Yeah. I know.

I suddenly wanted to rectify the situation immediately. Today. So I 'dragged' Michael into Victoria's Secret (because he HATES to shop for anything involving my breasts). We stand around for half an hour waiting for a little chippie to acknowledge my existence. Enter: black suited twelve year old.
"Do you need help?"
"Yes." And I just stare at her, hoping she'll read my mind. She's done this before. Leaning over in conspiratory manner, she whispers, "MEET ME IN THE FITTING AREA."
She does this thing with a tapemeasure involving me standing on my head and jumping and then, solemnly, pronounces my size.
I hit the floor. I'm surprised I haven't been CRAWLING on the floor with these enormous happy coconuts for the past four years.

I've been wearing a 36C ever since I was 18. Respectable size, no? Not too many would complain about 36C's.

You know what size I am?
A freakin...
That's right. A DOUBLE FREAKIN' D.
Please stand and my girls have arrived in all of our busty glory.
Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

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