Friday, October 21, 2005
I Miss Him Already
Michael left this morning for Kentucky. He will be visiting his parents and telling them about his intention to M-A-R-R-Y me. I miss him. That man is my heart.

Yesterday, I got into an altercation with another individual on Blogger, and it was all rather pathetic and silly, and I feel a small amount of remorse for permitting it to get out of hand. While the principle that I believe in about blogging is still intact (people should not put up things about their lives if they don't want to hear criticism), I should not have badgered as much as I did, nor be as upset with the individual's life choices.

This person (I thought and think) is making some choices that may lead to some issues with her children. She became really angry and started talking about how I don't have children and I shouldn't judge.

I didn't bring it into the 'fight', because it is rather moot, but the fact is: I may never be able to have children. I have some medical conditions that will make pregnancy VERY difficult, and I may not be able to carry a child full term. No, I haven't TRIED to get pregnant because I'm not ready for that, yet.

When people put their children at risk, I grow very angry. Children are the hopes of this world. They are the joys and precious gems of life that are often overlooked. Children have no advocates but their parents. When parents fail, they have abandoned children. I am highly sensitive to this; I've seen children abandoned for meth, children abused, children sexually stunted and harmed. This is not right. There are people in this world that do not deserve children.

One day, I may give my right arm and leg to have a baby, and it might not be possible. Of course, if I adopted, I would love that baby as much as my own biological child. But when people take their children for granted, they are hurting me. Our world is filled with babies who just need more love and hugs and kisses and good food and wonderful parents. A child is a present from God. A child can re-invent love.

So, to the individual who I directed such comments to, she may or may not come back by, but I have one thing to say to her: Don't tell me I can't imagine life with kids because I don't have them. I may never have them.

In other news, Michael bought me a toy! Even with me
being unemployed (well, that's about to change), I still get
really cool presents! We both now have Sirius Radio in our vehicles. How did I go on before? Last night, I heard Ministry,
Miles Davis, Paul Oakenfold, and the Dead Kennedys all within the span of twenty minutes. And of course, there is liberal talk radio and the comedy channels. If I'm missing in action, it's because I am sitting in the Scion, listening to my new, cool tunes.
Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

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