Thursday, October 20, 2005
Confessions
The time has come for me to bare my soul to the world. I've started a bit of a blog war with someone who is apparently a little on-edge. She doesn't want me going back to her blog, so the little devil in me is going, "GO! Go and tick her off some more!" while my moral radar is saying, "Enough, Fritz. Be a bit more mature". It's tough.

So, before I get all righteous on her ass and slice her with my razor-sharp wit (admittedly a bit dull from too many leg shavings), I think I shall make myself vulnerable, just as she did. She has threatened to beat me up if she ever sees me on the street. This is great, because we apparently live in the same neck of the woods.

It is amazing how juvenile people really are. Including myself.

Okay, so onward:
* I kind of like picking fights with people for the purpose of being a shit. It's true. I yell out the window at pick-up trucks with confederate flags and cowboy hats. NHL tells me to shut it, but I can't help myself. When I see those asshole Civil War reenactors, I yell, "WE WON. GET OVER IT!" Generally, NHL will squeal his tires and honk. Generally.

*I stole a keychain when I was fifteen from a Claire's Boutique.

*I doodle constantly in a big book, and sometimes, they are naughty doodles.

*I go to therapy, because I think everyone should. It's a great way of not only being aware of my own dysfunctions, but it is also a whole hour dedicated to me.

*I tend to be selfish.

* I really like to exaggerate, and every conflict in my life is generally a HUGE thing.

* I'm a total hypochondriac. When I have a cold, it's pneumonia. When I have a headache, it's cancer. When I have an achy joint, it's a torn tendon. I have so much unused prescription medication in my bathroom I could open up a pharmacy.

* I snore.

* I HAVE been to a loony bin after a long dark winter in Omaha and no family around. If you ever want to get a grip on life, go check yourself in. It's kind of fun.

* I try not to be influenced by the media, but I still find myself watching VH1

* I would rather go without underwear than with. I'm just sayin'.

* I think I was a bit of a drunk from age 20-22. I think.

* I smoked so much pot in college I forgot half of my sophmore year. Somehow, I still maintained a kick-ass grade point average.

* I got myself fired. I admit it. There were too many days when I told people I was 'trying to get fired'. Karma caught up with me, and she's a real witch.

* I drink about a pot of coffee a day and smoke almost a pack a day.

* I can honestly say my Boyfriend (NHL is dead to me) is The One, and he is amazing. He is generous, supportive, funny, smart, and he tickles me. I often feel that I don't deserve him. God graced me with that catch.

*I'm going for a bike ride today, and you might see me whirring by...give me a wave and for GOD'S SAKE USE YOUR SIGNAL.

*I have dreams of throwing eggs at Bush. Rotten eggs.
Written by FRITZ
| Link | 18 wise cracks! |



Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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