Saturday, July 12, 2008
Phat-Tee's
Can we agree on some basic concepts, please?
For example, can we agree that Americans eat too much? Is that really up for debate? Don't we live in a culture of face-stuffers? Face-stuffers who love fast food and bacon? Isn't that, like, totally apparent to every single person with five brain cells?
And don't we, as a nation, use up resources five times as fast as everyone else? Don't we suck up natural resources and fossil fuels and hardwoods like a mega-consuming caterpillar working on its metamorphisis into the Titanic?
Look. The calories I consume each day could probably sustain a pachyderm for a week. I'll admit it. I have an eating problem. I enjoy eating, and it's really easy for me to eat. If I'm too lazy to haul my big ass over to the grocery store, there's myriad opportunities to feast in other places. Like 7-11 or all these damn Coney Island joints; in a mile radius around my home, there are six--SIX--diners in which I can order one four-egg sausage and cheese omelette with a side of hashbrowns and toast. And every weekend, I eat at one of those establishments.
And here we are, a nation of overwieght people with poor self-esteem, eating ourselves right into a food crisis. We eat and then feel guilty about it, and then we go buy clothing to fit our big butts. And then, we feel worse, so we drive our big cars over to our big supercenters where we buy diet food in bulk and when we're all done eating warmed-up cardboard, we poop in mega-toilets.
I didn't think this was, like, news. Apparently, not everyone agrees with me.
Over at Slate, this uber-hip news/commentary blog thingy (I don't know, I just found out about it yesterday), some scrotal sac has condemned the movie Wall-E because it equivocates laziness with fat people and the end of the world. He claims that people who are fat are innocent bystanders in their self-destruction. It's all controlled by genetics! Just because we're fat doesn't mean we're guilty of massive consumption! Fat people aren't to blame! Wall-E mocks fat people! "The new Pixar movie goes out of its way to equate obesity with environmental collapse!"
Um, actually, it talks about people being so lazy, they don't notice all the garbage they are creating until one day, when it's obvious that the trash ain't going away. But because they're so lazy, they decide to go into space and litter up there. And then people get used to sitting around and letting other little robot things do stuff for them, so folks don't really have a need to walk or move heavy objects and then....dum dum dum...humans get fat.
I'm sorry, I thought this was an animated film. Seems pretty true to life to me, yeah?
Do we really have the time to convince ourselves that we are not to blame for the state we're in? Can we ignore our failing bodies and lack of health precautions, blaming big bones and bad genes? Or shouldn't we take some action now, and stop consuming so much, and start taking longer walks, and eat really good, really yummy, really healthy food?
We cannot afford to make excuses for the way we live, and the destruction we're wreaking on our land? And if one stupid, silly animated movie makes us think about the future, then how can it be a bad thing?
Thanks,
One of those Fatties
Name: Fritz
Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten
Click here to find out
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Death Wore A Feathered Mullet
Miss Kendra's Golden State
Boobs McGillicutty
Corley's Blue Texas
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Nick's Sac
Jiggs Casey
Jamwall
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Miss Yarnhead
Inane Anna
Teach me, Arachnae
A Woman for All Seasons
Stuntmother
Somewhere in Middle America
Knitty Kitty
Kimberlina Ballerina
Super Uber MILF
Death Wore A Feathered Mullet
Miss Kendra's Golden State
Boobs McGillicutty
Corley's Blue Texas
Sysm's Systemic Statements
Nick's Sac
Jiggs Casey
Jamwall
A Dude and His Dogs in Detroit
My Most Delicious Lunch
Those Damn Punk Kids
I have plenty of time.
Behold! The Power of Kittens!
For My Friends
Mandatory Writing
Yes, I Knit
Shorts, The Garment That Leaves Me Wanting More
Floggings.
April 30, 1917
Those Damn Punk Kids
I have plenty of time.
Behold! The Power of Kittens!
For My Friends
Mandatory Writing
Yes, I Knit
Shorts, The Garment That Leaves Me Wanting More
Floggings.
April 30, 1917
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What I Live By:
We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, alwaysâ A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"
We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, alwaysâ A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"