Wednesday, April 19, 2006
My (un)Official Weight Loss is at...

....20 POUNDS!
Well, see it's unofficial because I went to weigh in and stuff, and only lost two ounces. But then! I told the short lady behind the desk (who couldn't see my lower half)(I think that's the first time someone couldn't see my lower half--ever. You can hardly miss this gadunkadunk [all credit for this word goes to the fabulous Spinning Girl]) that I was wearing jeans.

"Well, dear," she said, "They can weigh up to two pounds."

So, I went home with my OFFICIAL loss of 18 pounds, stripped at the door (the garage door, that is, not the front door), and weighed my jeans.

2.0 pounds is what those suckers weigh! Of course, this scale is more schizophrenic than Jeffery Dalmer after supper, but hey! I'll take it!

So, does it count? Have I lost twenty pounds, or am I celebrating a victory not yet won?
Written by FRITZ
| Link | 14 wise cracks! |

Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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    What I Live By:
    We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. -T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"

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