Wednesday, April 19, 2006
My (un)Official Weight Loss is at...

....20 POUNDS!
Well, see it's unofficial because I went to weigh in and stuff, and only lost two ounces. But then! I told the short lady behind the desk (who couldn't see my lower half)(I think that's the first time someone couldn't see my lower half--ever. You can hardly miss this gadunkadunk [all credit for this word goes to the fabulous Spinning Girl]) that I was wearing jeans.

"Well, dear," she said, "They can weigh up to two pounds."

So, I went home with my OFFICIAL loss of 18 pounds, stripped at the door (the garage door, that is, not the front door), and weighed my jeans.

2.0 pounds is what those suckers weigh! Of course, this scale is more schizophrenic than Jeffery Dalmer after supper, but hey! I'll take it!

So, does it count? Have I lost twenty pounds, or am I celebrating a victory not yet won?
Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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