Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I'm compelled to Purge, as inspired by the Lovely Spinerroo.
This purge may supplement my karma theory--I'm screwed.

1. When invited to a friend's home for the first time, I will make sure I have an opportunity to visit the bathroom. Normally, I am content with the guest bathroom, but I prefer the bathroom the individual uses. While in said bathroom, I will turn the water on and go through the person's medicine cabinet. I don't steal anything. I just peruse the items within. You can learn a lot about people from personal hygiene products and medicine. For instance, a person may only use generic brands...this means he is rather scotch about spending, and probably doesn't care too much about skin health (he would rather invest in cheap aftershave than men's product specifically designed for his skin). If a lady has a certain brand of nice lotion or soap, I will use a tad. I will be very careful to not disturb the arrangement. I may or may not look at medicine bottles, but if I do, I'm in luck--I used to be a pharmacist technician, so can easily determine the health of an individual. Sleeping pills, anxiety meds, insulin, blood thinner, birth control. Interesting things to know about folks. I suppose this all seems rather intrusive and wrong. I guess it might be, but then, I guess, I'm a snoop. Always have been.

When I went through a distant relative's bathroom, I found hundreds upon hundreds of boxes of laxatives and three or four tubes of hemorrhoid cream. And this was in the guest bathroom. This particular woman is incredibly 'anal' and rigid. It just made such perfect sense.

So, let's take a look at MY medicine cabinet/drawer. This way, I won't feel QUITE so guilty about being such a little rat.

Makeup--and this is just the beginning. Signifies: Low self-esteem? Obsessive buyer? Artistic? Very effeminate? Pack-rat? Answer: A little of each.Top drawer: Let's see, here. Medicine, facial creams and cleansers, more makeup, strong deoderant, toothpaste. Oh, look! That's where that Lancome facial mask went to! Not very neat, am I? Bottom drawer. More hair product, rollers, pedicure and manicure set, odds and ends, lotions. I think this is where all my pack-ratness comes out. I just can't let go of cosmetics...

2. I torture my cat. No, I don't shave her or snip off her tail or anything cruel. But I do everything I can to annoy her. As a result, she's fiesty and a bit psychotic. She'll sit in a lap calmly for an hour, then, jump up, bite you, and run off, screaming in her wierd cat-way. She's really quite a handful, but it's all my fault. When she was a kitten, I would torment her by wiggling my fingers in her face. Now, she sees fingers as bait.

I've always tortured my pets. In college, I forgot to feed my pet frog and he died, clinging to a fake leaf. As a kid, I would dress my four cats up in Cabbage Patch Kids clothing and then see which one would get loose, first. But once again, karma has come back to get me. See, Delilah Amelia, while tortured, is just as evil and nuts as I am. Here is some evidence:

We had to restrain her this time by wrapping her in a blanket. She was going nuts, running into walls, knocking books off shelves, and disturbing the neighbors by jumping off of tall things onto the floor. She's mad, I tell you. She's mad.
Written by FRITZ
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Name: Fritz

Location: Detroit Rock City!
Where the weak are killed and eaten

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