I did not sleep so well, last night. It was either too much coffee or a guilty conscience. After going over things, I think it's the coffee. I don't feel so guilty about much anymore. Is that bad? Does that mean I've become amoral? Amorality, in my opinion, is worse than immorality. When you're immoral, you know better but choose to ignore it. When you're amoral, you're just neutered. That's just plain awful.

Listen, getting back to what I was saying, I find this blogging thing rather fun. I've kept journals my whole life. Silly, isn't it? I keep saying "I'm going to be a published writer one day" and then just keep journals. Pointless--no one reads the darn things. Hence, the blogging is fun. It's journal keeping, except the whole neighborhood has a key to it. A lovely woman made one kind comment, and I feel so grateful to her. First of all, she said my blog stood out, and secondly, she thought I was a cool girl. I've never been cool in my whole life! In fact, I try to pride myself for NOT being cool. That's because I'm envious of folks who are cool. But I digress. In any case, I went to her website here . Very cool, interesting person, herself. Good eye for photography. Not like I'm an expert, because I'm not. Hey, I still work with film! Michael's the one with the damn digital camera, little techno geek.

In any case, this kind woman and her kind post led me to start thinking about an Ani DiFranco song. I can't remember the name, but a verse of it refers to how many kindred spirits Ani has. Some of the spirits are dead and some she has never met before, and some she will never meet. I think that's life, in general. We get to feeling so down and out, and the human nature thing about always feeling alone and apart, no matter how many friends we have, or how many expensive shoes we have. But that's not really true, is it? There's lots of people out there who do connect with me. I'm too concerned with my belly fat to look; if I opened my eyes further and saw life for what it is, I'd be a lot less worried about being overweight and would take time to see: we're here for just a split second in the history of time. We're like the tiny little pixels that make up the big screen; that's how insignificant AND significant we are. If we could just stop WORRYING about ourselves and start giving back to the whole Other Part of Life, we would see: how beautiful we all are. How alive and unlike one another we are, and how much we are all a part of one another.

Now, the Bible is the greatest novel ever written, and I really enjoy its metaphors. My favorite metaphor is the first story of creation. You know the one I'm referring to: where God made the Earth in seven days, and all the animals and plants, and man and woman. Adam and Eve, the mother and father of our western history. Two shmucks caught with their pants down. A wily woman and an ignorant man. The birth of human sin. The origin of the fall. What a beautiful story about lesson learning. What a way to explain how humans are divine and human, after all. Even though I do not believe Adam and Eve are the parents of all of us, I do believe one thing: they are the parents of our imaginations, the historians of our culture, the enigmas of our true selves. Yes, I do believe in each of us, there exists Adam and Eve. We excavate truths for ourselves out of the fabric of reality, and blame ourselves for our mistakes. We dig to figure out our problems and dilemmas, and upon finding them, we beat our breasts. We also find simple joys, no matter who we are. I am the first woman in the world. I am the last to leave the Garden. Jesus is still hanging out in Gethsemene. I am waiting for him to find the fruit, and take a bite, and smile. Smile with all that knowledge.

Thank God for Kindred Spirits.