No, shut up, it's true. I've lost seventeen pounds (yea, me!) but I'm still fat. I'm a size fourteen-sixteen. That's right, a SIZE FOURTEEN-SIXTEEN.
And I'm only five foot six--don't lay that crap on me about being big-boned. I have a medium frame. It's true, I'm well-endowed in the chest and I've got junk in my trunk. I also have extremely muscular legs underneath...you guessed it...FAT.
I do abuse food for comfort. I've been trying to rein that in a bit, but it's still there. There is nothing like greasy pizza (three slices) and a bowl of ice cream. It's even better before having sex. That's right, FAT PEOPLE HAVE SEX!
(Michael isn't fat. Michael is awesome for loving me even though I am FAT. He also says I'm not fat, but that's because he loves me).
Fat people also work out. I work out five times a week for about forty-five minutes each session. I sweat like a big fat pig. I huff and I puff and I can run three miles in thirty minutes...on a good day. Okay, most of the time, I'm running two and a half miles in thirty minutes on the elliptical with the thing tilted all the way up. Get it? FAT PEOPLE RUN UPHILL FOR THIRTY MINUTES!
And I smoke! Yup! That's right! I'm FAT and I SMOKE and I'm....healthy. Sorry. Hate to rain on skinny doctors' parades. My blood pressure could be a little bit better, but I'm well within in 'normal' range for my age.
Obesity IS an epidemic, but only because skinny people have made it so.
Now, don't get me wrong. I learned a lot of FAT-HATRED from my mom and dad. (Love you, Mom and Dad!). When they go out and see someone extremely obese, they get disgusted. They shudder and feel sick. They roll their eyes and avoid any contact with those people. I say, "Why are you being like that?"
My dad says, "Because it's not natural, that's why. We weren't made to carry that much weight. It's gross. It's pathetic. Obviously, that person has some real problems and can't deal with them."
My mom says, "I don't like looking at all those folds of skin. It's not pretty. It shows laziness and gluttony."
Fat mouse gets picked on by Bully
I say: Good for Mr or Mrs Obese to come out and join the living.
Then, I ask them (they are both small framed people, my Mom and Dad); I ask them: "Well, how do you think that makes me feel?"
And Dad says, "You're not offensive to look at."
And Mom says, "You're just big-boned!'
Nope. I'm FAT. I'm not Morbidly Obese, but the doctors all say I am OBESE. Yup. That's me, Mom and Dad! Right up there with Mr and Mrs Morbidly Obese! I guess I am offensive, unnatural, and just down right lazy, myself! Oh. Whoops. You mean...I work forty hours a week (give or take), exercise religiously, occasionally give in to gluttony, smoke, AND somehow lead a normal life?
FAT PEOPLE ARE NORMAL?!?
Fat people ARE normal. We're out there. We're fat, we're smart, we're funny, we're beautiful, we're lumpy, we're curvy, we're healthy. Fat people are not lepers. Fat people have problems just like thin people. Fat people deserve to get paid the same amount of money as thin people (but they aren't). Fat people like to buy clothing. And if a FAT person (like me) wants to lose weight, they are generally not doing it for themselves. They are doing it for Moms and Dads and cultures that pick on fat people.
Fat people who lose weight gain it all back, nine out of ten times. That's a fact.
My FAT may just come back.
I don't know why I'm losing my fat. Maybe it's because I'm getting married in September and want to be gloriously thin for one brief moment. Maybe it's because I want to be that seventeen year old girl I was (after losing seventy pounds in high school and rapidly approached anorexia). Maybe it's because I want to buy some cute jeans. Maybe it's because I want to make more money or be more accepted or feel better about my butt or make Michael want me more or get a nicer car or...not have thin people judge me.
That last one resonates pretty strongly.
Not have thin people judge me.
I am not a lay-about. I am not a filch. I'm not really a glutton (except for Wednesdays: pizza and ice cream night). I do smoke, which is unhealthy (I'll admit). I do enjoy exercising. I'm stronger than most chicks in my age/height group. I'm a big Midwestern girl. I'm a BIG FAT GIRL.
When I'm not busy hating my FAT, I'm busy defending my FAT. So gimmee a break. And love me for being FAT.
