We regret to inform you that Fritz has been detained for questioning. Execution may be in order. We find her 'free speech' agenda against Bush and Kim Soo so offensive, nay, treasonist, we must deter her from any more gratuitous liberations.

The Patriot Act protects our rights, Americans. No, no, I know you suggest it may hinder freedom, but we at the Department of Offensive Material know the more smut is off the air, the greater chance we all have of defeating terrorism.

Be not dismayed. Fritz may return to her posting, but for now, she is being disciplined in a most humane and endearing manner. We're making her watch hours of Fox News, non-stop, with only sardines and ketchup for nourishment. Ketchup, as you know is a vegetable. (Note: It's hilarious that another blogger actually named this as a URL).
Until Fritz's return, we urge you to eat your Wheaties and buy American cars. Big, gas guzzling monsters. The kind that sucks gas up faster than you can say "Civil Rights Violation"